Colossians 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do you.
Regardless of how many years we have been on this earth, one thing we generally all have in common is that we have experienced some hurts. Some of the hurts have been self-inflicted. Wrong decisions, a lack of patience, and maybe even selfishness have undoubtedly led many of us to painful experiences.
Another way we experience hurt is when others inflict it upon us. This, too, can come by way of wrong decisions, a lack of patience, or selfishness. It seems that oftentimes, we can forgive ourselves and move on much more quickly than when others hurt us. The hurt is especially amplified when it seems someone hurt us on purpose. I’m all for being positive and staying focused on the bright side of things, as Proverbs 17:22 admonishes us to do. “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”
However, sometimes it’s just hard to not look at our hurt and wonder how we could ever move on. After all, someone hurt you on purpose. Someone meant to cause you harm. Some of these painful moments in our lives have seared scars that we have been carrying with us day to day. I’ve had people tell me that they have no choice but to stay hurt. Maybe this is you? Maybe you have yet to allow yourself to move forward from the pain left by another individual.
My simple answer is this: God has too many plans for us to stay hurt! Our mistake is that we interpret everything by the pains of our past caused by others, rather than interpreting by the new opportunities God brings our way. Maybe God brought us to Pacific Baptist for a new start! We should be interpreting the new relationships and opportunities we have as God’s way of saying, “It’s time to move on.”
This is also true for new church members. It could be there were painful experiences we had at a previous church. Someone wronged us. Someone falsely accused us. Perhaps, we felt the leadership did not care for us. If we are not careful, we will take those same painful scars of being mistreated and carry them on to our new church. This would result in us staying distant from leadership because of past leaders. This may cause us to second-guess everything people do for us in our new church, because of insincerity that was shown our way in the past.
The deliverance from this bondage of painful memories is to follow Philippians 3:13, which shows us to not only forget the past, but also to forgive the past! Our memory is only powered by our willingness to keep it. I’m sorry that somebody hurt us. I’m sorry that we were possibly mistreated by those in authority. However, does it occur to us that God brought us to a new church for a new start? It isn’t a new start if we carry old baggage with us. Give the new members a chance to love. Give the new leaders a chance to lead. Allow God to build us a brighter future for Him, instead of letting Satan continually rehash our past.
The key is forgiveness! When we practice forgiveness, we are deciding not to allow a person’s behavior or actions to cause us anger, resentment, or bitterness. The choice not to forgive is the choice to hold onto these hurtful feelings, sometimes much longer than even the offender ever intended.
We must understand that forgiveness is a bondage breaker. Far too many of us have placed ourselves in the chains of unforgiveness and bitterness for too long. This chain, this bondage, prevents us from flourishing for the Lord. As a matter of fact, this bondage can even cause us to hurt others. When we stay bitter, we may not accept genuine love from others, which could hurt them. When we stay bitter, we hold back our love from others out of fear of being hurt again. It has been said over and over, “Hurting people, hurt people.”
Too many of us go on through life thinking that we can’t forgive the past for various reasons. Maybe we feel an offender has to apologize first. While it would seem more practical to forgive after an apology, an apology doesn’t have to be required. When someone apologizes, they are seeking to confess a wrong that they have caused. This apology works for them in a similar way that forgiveness would work for us. That confession will free them from the guilt of their wrongdoing.
Forgiveness is something we do to free ourselves from the pains of the past. It is basically taking back our joy, our peace, our love. Forgiveness is allowing God the opportunity to give us a new start and to continue to build us for His glory.
Here’s what the Bible says about forgiveness:
Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Colossians 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do you.
The obvious reason to forgive is because we have been given the ultimate forgiveness from God! Our pride, selfishness, and transgressions nailed Him to the cross! Yet His love, His mercy, His grace, and His forgiveness were made available to us, even in our sinful condition. Romans 5:8 says, “But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
Why is this matter of forgiveness so important in relation to church membership? It’s because if we don’t learn to forgive the past hurts from a previous church, we may take out our past hurts on our present and future relationships in our new church. For our own sake and the sake of the many others we will undoubtedly serve with let’s forgive the past.
MEMORY VERSE OF THE DAY
Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
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