Directing our Children

Daniel Esposito

I'm blessed to have had godly correction, discipline, and counsel from my parents. I’m blessed not because of anything I am, but because of the Godly direction I received. I'm far from an expert in this area , but I hope your children will benefit from your help in these pivotal stages in their lives as I did.
Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
Society boldly proclaims that our children do not belong to us; we are to allow children to choose their path in life and be who they decide they want to be. God in His Word begs to differ! God reminds us that our children need our direction. It is the parent's job to instruct them and put them on a path that is aligned with God's Word! Training involves both a good example as well as adequate instruction!
Although in every stage of life, our children will need these three elements, they are essential during the correlated stages of life.
Correction 0-12 years old (Proverbs 22:5)
The Bible says that children are born foolish. If left to their natural tendencies, they will spiral out of control. God commands parents to instruct their children on what is acceptable to God and what is not. Disobedience must be met with the rod and reproof. Children who are not loved on by the rod and reproof (correction) have no guide with which to navigate their lives.
Context 12-18 years old (Proverbs 6)
The child who has been biblically disciplined and corrected by the age of 12 will be able to obey and follow instructions. However, fast approaching, is a time they will meet life head-on and not have the loving parent to call balls and strikes for them. At this stage, it’s imperative that we not only teach our kids what to do but provide them with biblical and practical reasons why.
Coaching 18-Death of Parent (Titus 2)
The American conservative will tell you 18 is the lucky number your child should reach to be out of the house and fend for themself. This is not the biblical model. Although by adulthood your child should have developed practical life skills and have a basic understanding of his/her faith; your job is far from over. Isaac was 30 when his dad assisted him in finding a spouse. Ruth was already married, and her husband passed yet she still received direction from her mother-in-law. Solomon was in his 20s when his dad took a chapter from 1 Kings to give him direction for life.
Your child will make most of life’s most important decisions from 18-25. To leave them to make these decisions without the coaching of godly parents is foolish and will be detrimental to their futures! Although your young adult child will look like a grown adult, and if trained right will be much more mature than your adolescent, your direction is vital in their lives! Our brains aren't even developed until we are 25 or so: by that age one can be married with a few children! The godly parent has a mature (and hopefully spiritual) mind and a wealth of life experience that can aid and provide direction for the young adult child. Turning your young adult over to a sin-sick world and leaving them to venture into life without your godly council and direction is not the best-case scenario or best for your child!

Daniel Esposito

Born in a pastor's home, Daniel has been in church his whole life. He met his wife Cassi while enrolled at PBBC. They have one sweet daughter, Ivory, and a baby on the way. He serves as a bus captain, school and college teacher, the soul winning director, and helps with various other church ministries.

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